We receive feedback, be it at work, home or from friends. The first reaction to any kind of feedback is usually to defend.
Depending on the person, the resistance varies. If it is from family (Father, Mother, Brother, Sister, Spouse or Cousin) we tend to be a little lighter, but when it comes from colleagues or boss, we tend to hold it stronger.
Yes. Listening to feedback is tough and it does give you the feeling of insecurity.
How do you react to feedback?
Listen with an Open Mind – Empty your mind of any thoughts you might have at that moment and listen to what the other person is saying. You need not react / say anything, but just listen and register the feedback to work/think of it later. Do not start thinking of it Immediately. You mind will pull you towards thinking, but distract it.
Be in the Present – Being in Present means having your thoughts, feelings and physical being at the place you are. For example, if you are receiving a feedback from your parent/family at the dinner table, just listen to what is being said without any presumptuous thoughts. Be at the dining table and let not the mind wander.
Draw a Mind Map – Before you retire for the day, put the feedback on paper. Evaluate all the situations because of which you are receiving the feedback. If you cannot recollect, go back and check with the person the context or situation where he/she felt that way.
Come back and complete your mind map (or a flow chart).
Accept/Reject – Do the due diligence. Accept / Reject based on your personal evaluation. Note: If you receive the same feedback from different people in different occasions, that means you might be doing that unknowingly. So, accept.
Follow up – Work on the feedback and set a timeline for working. After that go back and check with the person if they still feel the same way. Most probably, they would be taking their words back.
When we want to be successful in life, be remembered for what we bring value, Listening, Accepting, Registering and Working on feedback’s are very important.
As it goes, if you are not receiving any feedback, there there is something very seriously you are messing up.