Tag Archives: Life

Revisiting Expectations

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All of us have expectations. Be it at home, work, with friends and family. Everywhere and every time.
The most important aspect of expectations is that it becomes the root cause of our disappointments.
So, should I not have expectations? You should. We should. All of us should have expectations. But, these expectations should come with the reality. The reality of realizing the expectations. What is happening is that as times change, our efforts come with an automatic interest of expectations. I have done this, so, I should get this. I put in these efforts in my relationships, and I should get this in return. Honestly, life does not run this way. Even though we have not learnt this formally, it became part of our lives.
So, what can I expect? Expect to enjoy the beauty of life. Expect that the world is waiting for your deliver your duties. Expect that there are no returns for anything for which you do. Expect no one is thinking about you.
You need to set expectations based on what you agree with. When you set these expectations for yourself, you start to be living a life. Your life becomes happier and the world around is more happier.
People say the world has changed, it has become a cruel place etc. But, the world has not changed. It has remained the way for millions of years and it will continue to be so. What has changed is the way we think and act. The moment this is taken care, everything falls into place.
Whatever you do, do it with Passion and what has to come back will come back.

The art of building relationships

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Let us accept it, in this world everything depends on how you build your relationships. Be it with your parents, friends, spouse, children, boss, co-workers, subordinates and your buddies, every relationship needs to be nurtured and built upon.

What happens most of the times is that our expectations in each of the relationships decides how much we get out of each of the relationship. The key here is our expectation.

Recently, Matthieu Ricard, a 69 year old Buddhist Monk is hailed to be the happiest person alive by scientists who have conducted a 12 year study on his brain. The thing what Matthieu Ricard says is that one should train their brain to be benevolent. Very simple, as it sounds.

In building relationships what we tend to do is that over periods of time we unknowingly start building our expectations and with this, the sense of insecurity and instability start creeping in. When insecurity and instability start to play a bigger role, the relationship gets hit.

We need to make conscious efforts to carefully examine our relationships from time to time and look at how they are impacting our lives. If you gain happiness with one of your acquaintances, ensure you nurture the relationship. If you feel strained about the person, understand why you feel strained and see if you can mend the relationship. If you cannot, then you must reconsider.

What is important to understand and accept is that not all relationships give you the best of the feelings. So, identify those which do and build on those relationships.

Few relationships are very important, family, spouse, boss and your client. Ensure you spend time periodically asking the tough questions to yourself and build on what you have been observing.

Each time you build a new relationship, keep evaluating on your expectation.

Are you doing well?

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Few months ago, a company in US raised their minimum wage to $70,000. Everyone is happy, but two of them quit.

What happened? They quit because others not so deserving colleagues have got a rise. For them, what was important is that they both should be treated differently than others for the contribution they bring to the team/company. But, the organization was thinking different.

Most of the time in our lives, we live by comparing ourselves to others and on the way we forget what actually we need. We tend to look around in the competitive world and push ourselves to achieve what others do and not what we want.

There were two instances which stand out in my life and I am very thankful they happened.

One – During my school days, there was a tremendous pressure for either becoming an Engineer / Doctor. I took a different path. I don’t know why it happened, but it happened. I was clear on one thing – I wanted to work with Computers and that fascinated me.

Two – When I came to Bangalore looking out for a job, I unexpectedly got an offer from the Testing Company. I spoke to my family and friends and most of them suggested that I keep trying and get into development. Somewhere in my heart, I was not too convinced. I sat down and thought to myself as to what I wanted to become. I went with the not so frequented path, and I thank God for making me do that.

Many of us go through these situations, all I am wanting to share is that go with what your heart says. Stop comparing/look at others. Out intuition gives us the answer and when we go with that, we sure will achieve what we truly wish and that will complement our skills. When we compare with others, we are actually not utilizing our skills, but trying to copy someone else.

Doing well and going great are not different things. When you do well, you do great.

Intention

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What is your intention?

All of us make New Year resolutions, but over the period of time, they fade away and we loose the energy to accomplish them.

I found a way to work around that.

First, Identify the intention of the Goal. For example, you wish to accomplish something noteworthy which can add to your accomplishments in life. Identify as to how it will add to your Skills/Experience. Spend time on having a complete clarity of the Intention.

Second, break the Goal down into as many smaller tasks as possible.

Third, set a timeline to achieve the smaller tasks. Monitor how you are doing on the smaller tasks each day. If you feel that the size of the task is more than you can accomplish, fine-tune the task even more.

Fourth, each day read your Intention and see how closer you are getting to achieve it.

When all the tasks are completed, you not only achieve your Goal, but you would have attained your Intention.

Intentions are powerful, where as Goals are adjustable and have a risk of getting faded.
Good luck with your Intention for the New Year.

The One Thing

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Having the passion, desire and ability is one aspect of building a meaningful life and its outcomes, but focusing on The One Thing is the most important.

The one Thing is the first action you take which will impact other facets of your life.

To build on the habit of winning and accomplishing it becomes extremely important to keep refocusing on what needs to be accomplished.

Each day, identify what needs to be accomplished by end of day. From the list, pick 1 task which will have an impact on the day and the remaining task’s. Execute on that first task and notice the impact it creates on the reminder of tasks and the day.

Motivation comes from our inner fire and the fire ignites and continues to burn when we keep focusing and refocusing on what we wish to accomplish.

What do you want to be remembered for?

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Life gets really unfair at times. Robs you of what you deserve and what you are destined. Brings you down each second, trying to show you that what ever you do, it has the upper hand. It teaches you to cry, loose confidence and hurt yourself. This is the reality of life.
What do you at these times? Give up? The easy answer is “What ever is destined, it will happen” and this is correct. What ever is destined, will definitely happen. But, if you take a moment and question yourself, the path you have taken, the decisions you have made, all of these will give you different answers.
What did Steve Jobs do when he got fired from his own company? What did Richard Branson do when he had to sell his successfully running music business to start Virgin Airlines and when British Airways was beating him top to bottom? Did they give up? If they did, today, I will not be typing on a MacBook or think of flying in Virgin Atlantic.
Simple Question we need to ask ourself is “What do I want to be remembered for?” This is what Dr. APJ Kalam asked himself. When someone asked him this question, they were looking forward to hearing – Scientist, Statesman etc. But, Dr. Kalam was quick to respond “Teacher”.
Fortunate for him, Dr. Kalam breathed his last when he was teaching and we remember him as a true Thought Leader who had his Theatre of Action perfectly in place.
So, what do you want to be remembered for?

Workout of Life

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Have you ever tried doing crunches or weights? If Yes, then you do realize that the measurement of your workouts being effective is that you abs get sore and your muscles begin to pain. With that pain will you start seeing results. 

This is the same way one starts to build life. There are quite a few times we are thrown into unknown territories and we start thinking What am I doing? Am I living the life I want? Am I doing what I really want in life? 

These questions become more prominent when you hit roadblocks. As Steve Jobs says “Look into the mirror and ask yourself, if this is the last day of your life, are you happy doing what you are doing? If the answer is No for three consequitive days, then you need to change something”. 

Don’t loose the motivation when things are not going according to your plan. Keep pushing and keep working out. Change the strategy, work and re-work on your plan of action and push yourself. Identify what motivates you and keep bringing those points which motivate you to accomplish what you wish to accomplish. 

Remember, Success always follows failure.